This is the first time I'm making a blog so I don't really know how this works :p but I'm just gonna ramble about things !

TW talking about my mental health

Its so weird to actually do something with my life, that things can work, that I actually have a stable and predictable future ahead, that I managed to get into something that actually interests me
while having a partner who supports and loves me??
I'm really scared and worried about the future, the next year is full of scary things and uncertainties, but I'm also so so so excited about what comes afterwards, living with my girlfriend
To study something I care about, actually living life?! instead of just trying to march thru it barely being able to keep myself going
While yes I am putting my mental health and reason to live on a vague idea of a "good" future which has always been what I did in life, until I reach the supposedly good future and then everything breaks apart and I end up in a psychward
this just feels different, I genuinely believe this is doable, this is good, that this will be good, and not just to gaslight myself into believing in a reason to keep going, but genuinely because I believe its the case

I dont think I ever have been this excited for the future (granted its still filled with anxiety and worries)
I dont quite understand the emotions I'm feeling, but I am so hopeful for it
things are finally after years, actually looking up, they are getting better, things are actually genuinely for realsies doable, and that makes me so happy, even if its also filled with its uncertainties :)

I cant wait to update this page over the years as I understand more and more and get better at it, I'm really excited to have actual projects I can list under the still not functioning Project page ><

Things can be alright ♡ :3